Bitterness

One thing I experienced about being outted was I was not only angry but I had a lot of bitterness from it. Of course that's a normal feeling of being human but for me it was so bad where I didn't care if someone lived or died and of course that's wrong for me to feel but I'm not going to lie about that. In fact I was actually bitter until my dad called and said he had cancer. Then after I got over the shock and forgave him it really got me to think. Just because there's a fucked up situation is it really worth having that bitterness and hate in my heart and soul. My answer was no of course looking back now there was a lot of selfishness behind being bitter and me just wishing the worst on that person involved but that's all that was and that is dead wrong. Now don't get me wrong I didn't wish cancer on my dad I wasn't that bad but I did not give a shit about him and because of how he treated me and did I have my right for that well maybe I really can't answer that but looking back now I now know he's a human being with a soul just like me and you. So to make someone feel or have those thoughts of the hate I had was just wrong. Of course your probley saying I'm an asshole and I deserve it but you can't tell me if you look at yourself that there's someone in your life that you don't feel that way about. Just like there's someone that thinks that about you. Its just a matter if you wake up and go you know what if something happened to this person would I still feel this way or would I feel bad that it happened. And if the answer is I would feel bad after you look down deep into your heart and soul then you need to get rid of that bitterness and start to figure out how to start the process of forgiveness. And yes its a process I used to think this shit happens over night but it doesn't its a whole process that might take 2 days or 2 years it doesn't fucking matter. What does matter is that you decided to remove the bitterness in your heart and soul So you can start that process of forgiveness before its too late and you not only hurt yourself but those around you as well who feel the effects of the bitterness you have