Forgivness

In my last post I touched one second on forgiveness and was going to get more into it until I realized that's a totally different subject. One thing I've learned about forgiveness is that its one of the hardest fucking things to do in your life. Its never a forgive and forget thing no matter what anyone says. Its about understanding that person is truly sorry no matter what they did and them not doing it again. I have done a lot of shit in my life that hurt a lot of people and even though I know they forgave me the actions I did still tears me up inside. The fact is the person that did you wrong always lives with the guilt of whatever it is till the day they day. Even though you forgave them they still live with that pain in their soul and a lot of times that's punishment enough. For example take a couple and one of those people cheat on the other person and they get busted. Well getting busted is a bitch the person got pissed because they didn't have game like they thought. Especially since if its true that they are soul mates the other one already knew. Now the cheater can lie about it and hope that their spouse doesn't figure out the truth when deep down they know. Or the cheater can come clean and be honest with that person about what they did and risk loosing it all or not loosing it but getting forgiveness for that now that may not be overnight but it would come. Of course there's what some think would be the easiest and that is lie about it and take it to the grave with them. That way they don't loose what they have gained and built. The problem with that is if its confirmed or not they other person knows deep down. If that person loves them they would work it out. The problem there is at that point there's no trust and its hard to forgive that person so if the other person wanted to work it out then they will make the cheaters life a living hell in a sense that they will probley have no privacy on anything for a long time. Then when the trust is built then slowly the cheater get their privacy back. So in the long run that sounds easy for the cheater they didn't loose anything but that's where they are wrong. The cheater has to live with the fact that they lied and hurt the person that's bitterly their second half. They are ashamed of it and will take it to the grave with them. The problem there is without being honest with yourself and your soul and honest to your second half the cheater has to live with that hurt everyday when they wake up next to that person. every time when they make love its still there. Maybe when the cheater is in the hospital and their second half is by their bedside they will think back to the hurt that they caused and so on. The cheater also doesn't know if their second half actually forgives them and if it isn't brought out then I think that it would also eat at the cheaters soul without having that confirmation of forgiveness. That's worse than anything they would have to loose because let's face it your human soul can be a bitch to live with. That's why the cheater would be better facing up to the fact and being honest with their spouse or the hurt and torn up soul will kill them on the inside. It doesn't matter if it happened 5 years ago or yesterday the outcome and feelings would be the same. Bow when the cheater is honest and if the cheater decided to have a heart to heart then its up to the spouse to forgive but they will never forget but never bring it up and move on re leaving the guilt from the cheater. Or worst case they end the relationship. My thing is you can always forgive if its true to your heart and both parties know they may not forget the hurt but the bond and love is sooooo strong that they can both move on and have closure on that issue . Take my life my mom has done a lot of damage to me and in her own little ways she's come clean and have said she knows what she's done and she's living with the conquences of her actions but never saying sorry or stop from doing what she's doing so she still does what she does. Which is fine she has to live with that in her soul and hiding behind all of her religion for the outside world isn't going to help her as her soul is really hurting inside. Now as her son since she refuses to admit and say sorry then I choose to keep my distance as I have no trust for her whatsoever. Do I forgive her for her actions yes and no I'd say I forgive her 20 percent of what she did but since she's my mother and we have a bond I still love her 100 percent if she realizes it or not. Even though the hurt and pain she has caused me has been from years ago now if she came clean and said sorry I would 120 percent forgive her and I would start to build a better relationship with her and build the trust back as she would rightfully deserve as a human being and my mother. Would I forget what she's done no I wouldn't but it would be closure to that situation and we both can move on and that would be the same for that cheater in the relationship as well or whatever the case is. But as you forgive someone remember you can never forget but you can move on and you both can have closure and be able to maybe have that relationship with that person you never had or you can build on what you already have. Because there's nothing greater in this world as a bond of two human souls no matter what type of relationship they have in this lifetime and the next lifetime