the purpose of life what does it mean

You know I've cheated death quite a bit. I was born 10 weeks early. I've been in some really fucked up car accidents. Well ended up getting multiple brain injuries but the people whp did bit both times didn't have a gun they forgot it. Then more recently me and kevin get robbed at gun point I thought we were both going to die. We were at our front door of our apartment and if they forced us in that was it. But they didn't shoot us. I more recently overdosed on my meds which was a fatal dose. But yet I'm still here. Most people aren't so lucky. Yeah I have my health and mental issues but I'm alive by the grace of god. So that just leaves me one question. Why the fuck am I here what's my purpose. I've often prayed to god saying if you do this for me ill do this for you. Sadly I never came through on my end but god did on his. What does that mean I don't know. I have tons of ideas and wants as far as what I want to do to do my end of the bargain. But yet due to circumstances I couldn't. Maybe god did favors for me knowing that I couldn't do my end but he knew in my life I needed that thing so he blessed me So I can do something bigger and better. What is it I don't know. Everything has happened for a reason the fact that I'm here on earth still I thank god everyday I don't take that for granted. That part of my life I have learned. The only part I haven't learned is the purpose. I feel a lot of times I'm just a waste of space and maybe I am but maybe I'm not. All of you who read this ask yourself the same thing. Its just a matter on what it is. For example take my mother with everything she has done there is a purpose for her. Now fyi I dislike her as far as her actions and I keep my distance from her but I still deep down love my mother. But anyways there is a purpose maybe she lived it already she did do a lot of good to change lives for the better even though she had different reasons behind it. So maybe she's in retirement now I truly don't know. My dad I know his purpose I fucked it up but he did his purpose and still is. Have I done mine I don't know and that's what honestly I'm most scared of is that I didn't do my purpose in life so when I go to the grave and meet god I will hope for the best. I can say this As of now I'm doing what's true to my heart so when I do account for my actions I will honestly say I don't know my purpose but I did what's true to my heart. And just maybe that is the purpose is doing what's true to your heart. Did I do what's true to my heart years ago fuck no I didt I was doing everything but what was true to my heart but honestly I think most very young adults and kids don't do what's in their heart. Maybe that's why I ended up the way I am now where I feel I don't have a purpose. I just hope despite everything I do live up to my purpose and make everyone proud which quite honestly I don't see right now. That's just me being honest